Letting Go

After 6 years of confusion, defiance, stress and yelling I finally gave my baby a better situation to live in. I gave him to a good friend. I can't keep him. I've been trying to find something to do with him for 3 years but never had any luck with anything. I'm glad that I waited for an appropriate oppurtunity. I feel like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Of course I miss him. Like hell. But I feel better that he is with people I trust and I know I can visit him when I need.

I just finished reading The Coldest Winter Ever and I'm not sure I liked it. Winter was on of the worst people in the world. But what's scary is when I was around 14 I wanted the life she lived and tried to maintain. I wanted the best clothes, to be spoiled by my parents, to have a drug dealer boyfriend to take care of me. What the hell was I thinking? I was thinking I was only 14 years old. I used to think that I could have any man, and I mean man literally like 25 or older, eat out of the palm of my hand if I wanted. I started trying to find a sugar daddy or just someone older with a lot of money that would take care of me. For some girls I've grown up with that actually worked. And not surprisingly they are in the same direction as Winter was in the book. I guess I was just never to be one of those types of girls. I was born, I guess, to be a hard worker with no money and no man. I guess I will have my Diploma and Degree to hold on to at night or buy clothes and shoes with in the mall. Oh well, but anyway back to Winter, she was one of the most dumbest, egocentric, golddigging, lying somebody that could ever be made up for a book. If I ever knew her in real life I would slap her with an encyclopidia. Of course afterward she would cut me with her razor under her tongue. So even though I read the book I wasn't all outrageous about it. I really want to read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Why? Don't really know. It's a best seller.