A Request

I need a boyfriend as a stop sign. I need a fiance for the same thing. Or at least a ring. I need to be able to put in my profiles and things that I'm in a relationship so slimy, greasy, nasty, ugly, corny, weird, crazy men will LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! Someone PUH-PLEASE rescue me from this crap. I don't know how much more I can take of this. Am a just a wierdo magnet and all the normal guys have no attraction to me whatsoever? HELP HELP HELP HELP! Because if I continue to give these dumb guys a piece of my mind I'm going to get shot one of these days.