Running Away

How much damage would be done if I was just to pick up and run away. Just go far far away from everything here. Would everything be the same if I decided to come back? Would it be better? Worst? If worst, why even come back at all. Why not just start over. You can't go back in time but you can pretend nothing happened and start off with a clean slate. Transform into something you're not because the something you are is someone you hate. I think I might just run. Far, far away.

February

I almost forgot this year the February is my worst month of the year. Until everything in the world that could go wrong has. I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up until March 1. It just sucks that so much has to happen and I have so much responsiblity this month. I want to fly off a cliff and stay suspended until all the bad has passed me by.

p.s. its Valentines Day and school once again is cancelled. Just like last year. Not sure if thats a sign or coinecidence.

Acceptance

So everyone wants to be accepted and wanted. No matter how many people will try to deny it, everyone wants it. We need to feel we have a purpose in this hard, backwords world. That other beings around us appreciate that we are here as much as we appreciate them. The worst thing is to constantly feel unaccepted even though you are never alone. That you are surrounded by people and you feel like you are screaming at the top of you lungs and no one even notice. But what to do? Just stay around for the company and soak it in or go somewhere to be alone? They are pretty much the same thing.

40 days and 40 nights

As of yesterday there is only 40 days until my 21st birthday. I thought that it would be a good idea to challenge myself and do a "Lent" before my birthday. To give something up. I thought about sweets. But everytime I try that it never works. I am a sweets fanactic. And I had two chocolate chip cookies and peanut m&ms yesterday. I need to decide by today though because I'm at day 39 on the count down as it is. If I can't come up with anything else then it will have to be sugar. It will be really really healthy for me if I do.

Here I am, perfect as I'm ever gonna be

I have noticed that when a person is trying to go through a transformation others are not always considerable to the new portrayal. That sucks. There will always be those people, and sometimes close friends who just don't believe a person can change. Regardless of whats been told to them or even what they see first hand. Like a person who is considered a binge drinker decides they are going to cut down. The first party or social setting that they attend with alcohol and they decide not to drink, what happens? Instead of being supportive and mature, majority of the time ridicule comes into play. That, in my opinion, is incentive to fall back into the same behavior you are trying to change. Not being accepted, especially when it comes to things that you are in control of, is humiliating and gives a person the sense of failure. I think that people, especially friends, should take things as they are. If a friend has confided in you something that they are trying to change for the better, then congradulate them or help them along their journey. And if you honestly think its ridiculous then just leave your comments to yourself and if the person does happen to fail then you'll have that satisfaction of knowing within yourself. But that's exactly where it should stay, within yourself.

Girls vs. Grown Women

"Girls vs. Grown Women"


Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and makeplans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits in.

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it; using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their
affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you
back-and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends.

Don't call me a quack

The saying goes, "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck or looks like a duck, it's probably a duck". But I believe if you call it a duck then it is going to be a duck. Which brings me to my point. A man should never never NEVER call a women, especially one they are interested in, a negative characteristic. For example, the moment you call a women crazy or a bitch is the moment she becomes crazy or a bitch. If you think she was acting that way before you said it, observe what happens after. You asked for a crazy bitch, and guess what, you got it. So a word from the wise, instead of a negative characteristic trying telling her that she's sweet, understanding, patient, or has an interesting outlook. See how much that betters the situation.